We can be remarkably agile in the face of change. How is it that we are able to so radically and rapidly change our daily behavior in order to follow the social distancing and stay-at-home policies during the pandemic, and yet–pandemic or not–we typically find it difficult, if not impossible, to reach smaller personal goals like dieting, getting organized or changing destructive habits?
The pandemic is life-threatening, so it ignites our survival instincts, activating that part of our brains charged with speedily and efficiently getting us to safety. But cholesterol, alcohol, and physical passivity are all life-threatening, and many of us humans have done a lousy job changing in regard to these issues, even when we have reliable information that they are killing us. Why do we struggle to change what would so obviously help ourselves individually?
Ross Ellenhorn’s book, How we Change (and the Ten Reasons Why We Don’t) gives a fascinating answer. A clinician and thought leader in the mental health and addiction fields, he suggests that we’re often looking in the wrong direction when we try to decipher the factors that support human change. He suggests that it’s much more fruitful to look at why we don’t change, than figure out why we do. By looking at the reasons we don’t change, we give ourselves the best chance of actually changing in meaningful ways.
Ellenhorn explains how we are wired to double down on the familiar because of what he calls the “Fear of Hope” – the act of protecting ourselves from further disappointment—and identifies the “10 Reasons Not to Change” to help us see why we behave the way we do when we are faced with the challenge of hope. Among them are:
· To change means raising your expectations and thus risking that you’ll disappoint yourself.
· Once you change, you are more accountable to make other changes than if you stayed the same
· When you change, your future become much less predictable.
· Change means destroying psychological monuments you’ve built to commemorate past injuries
· Every time you change, you raise the possibility of losing or disrupting your relationship with certain people
By addressing this little known reality of fear of hope, and how it influences the 10 Reasons Not to Change, Ellenhorn actually gives us hope, helping us to work toward the change we seek. Ellenhorn speaks to the core of our insecurities and fears about ourselves, with a humor and kindness. By turning our judgments about self-destructive behaviors into curious questions about them, he teaches us to think about our actions to discover what we truly want – even if we’re going about getting it in the wrong way.
How We Change is a brilliant approach that will forever alter our perspective – and help us achieve the transformation we truly seek.
A paradigm-shifting, instant classic in the making that challenges our assumptions about change by encouraging us to understand and embrace our resistance to it.
We all have something we want to change about ourselves. But whether it’s quitting smoking, losing weight, or breaking some common bad habit or negative behavior pattern, we feel a sense of failure when we don’t succeed. This often sets off a cascade of negative feelings and discouragement, making it even harder to change. The voice in our head tells us: Why bother?
Successful change depends far more on understanding why we don’t change, psychotherapist and sociologist Ross Ellenhorn insists. His decades-long career as a pioneer in helping people overcome extreme psychiatric experiences and problematic substance use issues—especially those whom the behavioral healthcare system has failed—especially those whom the mental healthcare system has failed—has lead him to develop an effective, long-term method to achieve transformation, from the simplest shifts to the most profound. In How We Change, Ellenhorn looks to the evolutionary imperatives driving us. We are wired to double down on the familiar because of what he calls the Fear of Hope—the act of protecting ourselves from further disappointment. He identifies the “10 Reasons Not to Change” to help us see why we behave the way we do, making it clear that there is nothing broken inside us—it’s how we’re built. By addressing this little known reality, he gives us hope and helps us work toward the change we seek.
Ellenhorn speaks to the core of our insecurities and fears about ourselves, with a humor and kindness. By turning our judgements about self-destructive behaviors into curious questions about them, he teaches us to think about our actions to discover what we truly want—even if we’re going about getting it in the wrong way. How We Change is a brilliant approach that will forever alter our perspective—and help us achieve the transformation we truly seek.
Dr. Ellenhorn is a pioneer and leader in the development and promotion of community integration services, types of care that serve and empower individuals diagnosed with psychiatric and/or addiction issues while they remain in their own communities and outside institutional settings.
Trained as a sociologist, psychotherapist and social worker, he created the first fully operating intensive hospital diversion and wrap‑around program in Massachusetts. Dr. Ellenhorn later created and led one of the first public Programs for Assertive Community Treatment teams in the state.
Dr. Ellenhorn has authored two books on human behavior. Parasuicidality and Paradox: Breaking Through the Medical Model addresses psychiatric hospital recidivism and techniques for diverting hospital use. It was published by Springer Publishing in 2007. His most recent book, How We Change (and the Ten Reasons Why We Don’t), takes a deep dive into the dynamics that influence all human change. Published by Harper Collins, and in seven different languages, How We Change was released in May of 2020. He has authored numerous articles, gives talks and seminars throughout the country, and provides consultation to mental health agencies, psychiatric hospitals and addiction programs.
Dr. Ellenhorn is the founder of the Shifting The Paradigm conferences, a bi‑annual series that addresses humanistic and empowering changes in behavioral healthcare; and is the co‑founder and president of the Association for Community Integration Programs (A4CIP), a professional association representing and promoting programs dedicated to empowering clients who are receiving services while living and participating in their community. His is the executive producer of the film, Recovering Addiction: A Public Health Rescue Mission, a documentary on new, less‑oppressive means for understanding problematic substance use and other distressing habits.
Dr. Ellenhorn is the first person to receive a joint Ph.D. from Brandeis University’s prestigious Florence Heller School for Social Welfare Policy and Management and the Department of Sociology.
